Monday, December 29, 2008


Working Subtitle: Why I Wear Heels to Wal-Mart

Ok, I really don't usually wear heels to the soul-sucking, hellish vortex that is Wal-Mart. It's just that once in awhile, I get a bug up my butt to look nice. Today was such a day. I actually felt like putting my hair in hot rollers, but didn't really have time. So I settled for jeans with heels and a nice shirt.

To go where? The yarn store. Yeah, you read that right. I'm knitting again. I'm currently insanely stressed, and most of you know most of the reasons why. Knitting is great for that. I can fidget incessantly and call it "working on a project." Plus it's portable. I've got two things going on, both of which incorporate things I've never done before: one is a sweater, very sheer and, since I'm not a slut, meant to be worn over a tank top. I'm randomly adding seed beads to it as I go - that's new for me, but I got a lot of compliments on it at the yarn store, so I guess it looks good. The other is a pair of socks, which requires knitting in the round. That's four needles I'm working with, people. FOUR. It's unwieldy, but strangely addictive. And the socks are shaping up to be pretty cute. They're bright, and I don't usually wear any color of socks but white, but I might have to work up several particularly obnoxious pairs to wear with my Cub Scout uniform. These can be Obnoxious Cub Scout Socks Number One. I'll try and take some pictures of my knitting and post them tomorrow.

So I had to go to the yarn store, because my spazzfest of a Golden Retriever ate one of my balls of yarn. Mohair. Not cheap. I love my dog, but I really wish she had a hobby other than creating the most expensive and often bizarre poop she possibly can. We already have polyfill laying around the backyard because she has made it her life goal to consume my sofa in its entirety. The yarn poop should be absolutely fascinating.

After that, Wal-Mart. Where I ran into, of all people, a girl I went to high school with. Now I know why I never run into anyone I used to know when I come home for a visit...apparently, they've all moved here. She was a few grades below me, but I was friends with her cousin. She recognized me right away, I honestly can't say the same for her. Nice girl. She had her daughter with her, who is a fabulous little thing and clearly gives her mother a run for her money. Literally. Last glimpse I had of the two of them, my former schoolmate was chasing the little girl down the dairy aisle at a full sprint.

After that, I ran into a girl I used to work with. I can't stand this person, nor could anyone else who worked there other than a few paunchy, drooling middle-aged management types. She's not particularly pretty, but she's an emaciated blonde who presents herself in, umm...a certain way. She doesn't really do anything productive that I've ever noticed...mostly she takes credit for other people's work, orders co-workers around, and throws people under the bus to cover her own mistakes, which she makes thoroughly and often. I never was able to figure out exactly what it is she DOES, other than what I just mentioned. She certainly did spend a lot of time behind closed doors with her direct supervisor, though (one of those drooling middle-aged management types).

I guess "ran into" isn't really the right term. You couldn't have paid me to talk to her, but we made eye contact for long enough that I caught the "wow, she's lost weight!" once-over she gave me. And it wasn't a congratulatory look. Heh!

So it was nice that I had on makeup, my hair was fixed and I was wearing decent clothes.

Right now, it's equally nice that I'm in my Pepto-pink footie pajamas with the monkeys all over them. Off to bed.

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