Purging

Before I get into my Rant du Jour, I just want to say...

HAVE A GREAT TIME ON VACATION, GUYS!!!

The place where I still work for approximately the next 52 hours has a habit of more or less randomly deciding to distribute t-shirts to its employees. Over the years, I've accumulated a fairly depressing number of these. I've never, EVER worn them in public. I'd tell people that it was because I really didn't think everyone in the world needed to know where they could find me 9 hours out of every day, but the truth was that I just found it demoralizing to be a walking billboard for a company that, at best, I was mildly content to work for as long as nothing better fell in my lap. Plus, most of the t-shirts are really just ugly and stupid.

So now I'm left with a dilemma: What to do with these t-shirts? The come in handy as nightshirts, but I find myself with no desire to ever have one anywhere near my bee-bews again. On the other hand, it would be rather amusing to alter the more inane ones and finally wear them out in public. For instance, the one that proudly bears the slogan: "We help people communicate." Wonder who the advertising genius is who came up with THAT. Probably the same guy who thought it was a good idea to inscribe a large rock with the company logo, dub it the "top rock," install it in the lobby on a pedestal surrounded with velvet rope, and mandate that part of the poor receptionist's job be to dress it up on holidays. Yes, the ROCK. On Mother's Day, it had a bouquet and several little rocklings. You really can't make this stuff up.

Should I use a Sharpie to add "Our employees? Not so much" to the "We help people communicate" shirt? Should I burn them all in a solemn ceremony? Or maybe a not-so-solemn one that incorporates the chicken dance, a conga line and a pinata? Should I just save myself the trouble of all of it and throw them out?

My mood right now is strikingly similar to the feeling I had when I separated from my ex. It feels vitally important to distance myself. I want NOTHING left in my house that bears the name of that company. Of course, J will draw the line at disposing of my pay stubs, and that's fine, as long as they're someplace where I can pretend they don't exist.

I brought home most of my stuff today. Only the essentials are still there - my fridge, my coffee cup, my reading glasses, my space heater.

Soon!

SONG OF THE DAY: Billy Joel, Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)